Truthiness Comes to Georgetown
GLORIOUS DAY!
I never receive messages by snail-mail, or regular post. Never. Today, on the other hand, I did. Who was it from, we'll find out. But first a recap of the past few weeks.
Monday June 19th - Wayne, the supreme Emperor, posts this, a segment on Stephen Colbert's dreamsicle speech. Clyde is very interested in this 'Colbert' guy. Now it begins.
Tuesday June 20th - I, Clyde, decide, after viewing previously mentioned clip, to watch said 'Colbert Report', and enjoy it very much.
Wednesday June 20th to Sunday July 16th - Time passes.
Monday July 17th - Stephen Colbert announces on his show that if you send him $20, he 'will not' send you a Colbert Report t-shirt.
Tuesday July 18th - I send Stephen Colbert $25(5 for shipping), and a letter expressing my adoration of him and his show, in a very heterosexual fashion.
Friday July 21st - I tell Wayne about my cash-sending, and Wayne thinks I'm crazy as Dustin Hoffman skateboarding backwards down a black-hole made of tuna fish.
Thursday July 27th - I tell the Almighty about my cash-sending, and he thinks I'm smart as any movie producer rejecting Julia Roberts as any part of the cast.
Friday July 28th to Monday August 7th - More time passes. Time is actually an illusion. So are people. The universe is actually unpopulated, as the average population is 0. There is an infinite amount of planets in the universe, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to exist in. But, we know that not all of them are populated. But, any number divided by infinity is as close to zero as zero is, so the average population of a planet can said to be 0, and any people you meet are just figments of a deranged imagination. Thank you Douglas Adams.
Today - It started off as a semi-uneventful day. I woke up, went to work. Whilst at work, I killed a few customers, pondered the meaning of life, the universe and everything, had a discussion with my boss about her future topless-hairdresser shop, and returned home. As I strolled into my headquarters, I was alerted by my secretary that I had received a message. I believe the exact phrase was "You've got mail." I thanked her and sat down at my desk, and looked upon a beautiful sight. This is what I saw. As I recovered from the shock of receiving a letter from Stephen Colbert himself, I pondered what the best thing was before sliced bread. With shaking hands, I picked up my McArthur Confederacy letter-opener. Ever so carefully, I gently ripped open this sacred envelope, revealing the contents. A letter, and 25 american dollars - different than the bills I sent him. As my butler caught the drool dripping down my face, I slowly opened the holy letter that was in my hands. This is what I saw.
STEPHEN COLBERT SENT ME MAIL! Who else do you know who can say that? Happy day for the McArthur Confederacy. Both the letter and the envelope are currently framed and hung on my personal wall of honour.
Here's to you Stephen!
I never receive messages by snail-mail, or regular post. Never. Today, on the other hand, I did. Who was it from, we'll find out. But first a recap of the past few weeks.
Monday June 19th - Wayne, the supreme Emperor, posts this, a segment on Stephen Colbert's dreamsicle speech. Clyde is very interested in this 'Colbert' guy. Now it begins.
Tuesday June 20th - I, Clyde, decide, after viewing previously mentioned clip, to watch said 'Colbert Report', and enjoy it very much.
Wednesday June 20th to Sunday July 16th - Time passes.
Monday July 17th - Stephen Colbert announces on his show that if you send him $20, he 'will not' send you a Colbert Report t-shirt.
Tuesday July 18th - I send Stephen Colbert $25(5 for shipping), and a letter expressing my adoration of him and his show, in a very heterosexual fashion.
Friday July 21st - I tell Wayne about my cash-sending, and Wayne thinks I'm crazy as Dustin Hoffman skateboarding backwards down a black-hole made of tuna fish.
Thursday July 27th - I tell the Almighty about my cash-sending, and he thinks I'm smart as any movie producer rejecting Julia Roberts as any part of the cast.
Friday July 28th to Monday August 7th - More time passes. Time is actually an illusion. So are people. The universe is actually unpopulated, as the average population is 0. There is an infinite amount of planets in the universe, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to exist in. But, we know that not all of them are populated. But, any number divided by infinity is as close to zero as zero is, so the average population of a planet can said to be 0, and any people you meet are just figments of a deranged imagination. Thank you Douglas Adams.
Today - It started off as a semi-uneventful day. I woke up, went to work. Whilst at work, I killed a few customers, pondered the meaning of life, the universe and everything, had a discussion with my boss about her future topless-hairdresser shop, and returned home. As I strolled into my headquarters, I was alerted by my secretary that I had received a message. I believe the exact phrase was "You've got mail." I thanked her and sat down at my desk, and looked upon a beautiful sight. This is what I saw. As I recovered from the shock of receiving a letter from Stephen Colbert himself, I pondered what the best thing was before sliced bread. With shaking hands, I picked up my McArthur Confederacy letter-opener. Ever so carefully, I gently ripped open this sacred envelope, revealing the contents. A letter, and 25 american dollars - different than the bills I sent him. As my butler caught the drool dripping down my face, I slowly opened the holy letter that was in my hands. This is what I saw.
STEPHEN COLBERT SENT ME MAIL! Who else do you know who can say that? Happy day for the McArthur Confederacy. Both the letter and the envelope are currently framed and hung on my personal wall of honour.
Here's to you Stephen!
posted by Clyde @ 22:56
2 Comments:
At 14:08,
Chris Nagy said…
Anne-mazing!
At 16:08,
Lee "Emperor Wayne" Johnston said…
Absolutly astonishing.
Waynbert and Roper give it two Waynes Up!
I told you they would not accept it. But still the letter was very very awesome. Kick ass!!
Emperor Wayne
Post a Comment
<< Home