Llama's Notes

24 December, 2006

Christmas Spirit

I choose something different now. Using free translation, I've translated, and translated back several times, this phrase:

Merry Christmas, one and all.


The feeling of the Innate voucher to be and all the in the means of.

That's English to German to English to Japanese to English to Portugese to English to Dutch to English to Italian to English.

so to all you out there:

The feeling of the Innate voucher to be and all the in the means of.

Merry christmas.

11 November, 2006

Finished(Swedished?) Blogging

Tis not what you think lads and lasses. I have returned.

That is the last, and I mean last time I leave the country without telling people. God, the crap I had to sift through after getting back, I can't believe I did it.

For those who didn't already know/are too inept to figure it out, my friend Ian hasn't posted one post since he joined my team, and hasn't contacted me either. Naturally, I climbed aboard the Hindenclyde, and set course for Visby, Sweden.

Blimps are slow.

After a week of travelling through the skies aboard the Hindenclyde, I landed in Visby, alledged hometown of my Swedish comrade. With his picture in hand, I went about inquiring the townsfolk of his whereabouts. Nobody had seen the man in the picture... I began to wonder why emus don't fly.

Sweden has an equivalent to Zellers called Sticka!, and I decided to go there for a good deal on shampoo. I noticed it had a restaurant, so I thought I'd grab some breakfast. Remembering Bono's affection for eggs, I ordered mine over easy. The chef almost killed me.

After barely escaping with my life, I decided to return home, but crashed over in Edinburgh for a few weeks, and then made my final flight in the Hindenclyde back to my headquarters.

For those of you who think I wasn't actually in Sweden/Scotland, I'll prove it to you. "But Clyde," you say "I've seen you/talked to you since September!" No you haven't. It wasn't really me. It ws my own personal hologram, Margoloh. Observe:

I win.

Oh, and to those who didn't think I was blogging during my time away, I proved you wrong. 'Blogg' in swedish means 'to take a two month vacation'. I rule your minds, friends.

Case closed.

14 September, 2006

The Meaning of Life

life [lahyf] n.

  1. the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead orgnisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaption to environment through changes originating internally.
  2. the sum of the distinguishing phenomena of organisms, esp. metabolism, growth, reproduction, and adaptation to environment.
  3. the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual.
  4. the general or universal condition of human existence.
  5. a corresponding state, existence, or principle of existence conceived of as belonging to the soul.
  6. any specified period of animate existence.
  7. the period of existence, activity, or effectiveness of something inanimate, as a machine, lease, or play.
  8. a living being.

Thank you dictionary.com for solving a long time disputed problem.

11 September, 2006

Waynoff Notice

Well that didn't last long. Lee has already formally apologized for his 'omission', and I must take him off Notice, and promote him back to Wayne.

Now, for Wayne, and all those loyal fans of both Llama's Notes and South Passage, I must say this. I had really hoped that Wayne would play along. I wasn't actually too offended for his 'omission', but saw it as an opportunity to have some fun.

So, Wanye, we're cool? Right? Good. Here's the new On Notice board:


10 September, 2006

Waynon Notice

Well, well, well, Wayne. Why would Wayne wryly want to wane Wayne’s wisdom by waging war on me? Would Wayne welcome war when Wayne wants my wonderful wordfull work? Why not?

Sadness befell me today after reading Wayne's latest post. If you're too lazy to click on the 'hyperlink' that can be found here, here, here, or here, then I've made some screenshots of Wayne's all-too-fact(and tact)-less blog entry:

Really Wayne? You're so angry? Yeah, the Enterprise Collection may be late, but that's no reason to forget ALL LOGIC all together! Wow, I still can't get over this. I was expecting a 'Thanks Cullen." or even a Clyde, but no, nothing at all. I've got to say I'm a little insulted. Call me full of myself, but I expected a little recognition for my work.

No. No, I can't let Wayne get away with this. I feel so strongly Wanye(I'm talking to you personally now), there is only one thing to do. I'm putting you On Notice. Taking a page from Stephen here, but you've affected me this much, that I'm forced to put you On Notice. Furthermore, I'm demoting you to Lee. You no longer are Wayne in my eyes, only Lee.

Congrats, Lee. You have forced me to start an On Notice board, filled with the things that bring sorrow, fear, mild discomfort and/or intense pain to my life. Enjoy Lee. Though it would be unfair to put you On Notice without a chance to redeem yourself, I'll say this; you have until The Colbert Report ends on Thursday to apologize for your mistake, or risk being Dead to Me. Nobody's there yet, Lee.

That's the On Notice Board for now. I had the ONCs express shipped to me from Bangalore, so be proud you got on so fast Mr. Johnston. Be proud.

04 September, 2006


Dear friends, family, and others. Today, the world lost a great man. Stephen Robert Irwin, nicknamed 'Steveo', passed away today. Most people knew Steve only as 'The Crocodile Hunter'.

Shortly after 11:00 AM AEST(Australian Eastern Standard Time), on September 4th, 2006, Steve was fatally struck in the heart by a stingray while diving off Queensland's Great Barrier Reef. He was filming some shots for the show his daughter is hosting.

Crewmen aboard his boat called for EMS as soon as it happened and performed CPR as they floored the boat towards the shore where Steve was to be taken by Air Ambulance, but medical staff pronouced him dead when they arrived on scene.

Australian Prime Minister John Howard spoke later in "shock and distress" about Steve's sudden passing. He went on to say that "Australia has lost a wonderful and colourful son."

I can understand Mr. Howard's "shock and distress". I first read about Steve's death in an MSN name of my friend Jelani. My initial reactin was something like Reginald's in this picture:

Making his television debut in The Crocodile Hunter in 1996, Steve quickly became a pop culture icon, later creating Croc Files in 1999. He even appeared in the finale of Australian Idol in 2004.

Not only has Australia lost a "wonderful and colourful man", but the world has. Steve's passing will impact billions of people all over the world. I know it has impacted me. I wrote this post.

Rest in Peace Steve, you will never be forgotten.

23 August, 2006

So much crazy!

First off, I'd like to say thank you to our readers, such an excellent job we've done voting for Stephen! Just after watching the Report, I know that he is now - in the polls - at over 17 000 000 votes! Holy crap! That dwarfs(gnomes?) the former leader by 15 000 000 votes! Good job everyone!

Now, as many of you know, I annually attend Musicfest as a volunteer. As fewer of you may know, there is also a store in Richmond BC that I encountered called 'Big Crazy', pictured below. It is, essentially, a chinese supermarket. My brother and I would go in there, point and laugh at the mis-translated engilsh. There were things like Wild Acid Jube-Jubes, and Chicken-Taste Noodles. It brought such hilarity, that it spread through Musicfest like wildfire, and has become an ongoing joke since then.

Alone, this store is pretty funny in itself, and I'm looking forward to returning to it this May. But... there's more!

A friend of mine in Indiana, spotted this store in a town, ironically, named Fort Wayne, IN.

Medium crazy?! What the hell? I thought that this Crazy phenomenon was indigenous to Richmond, but no! Apparently America has one too, but just Medium, not as Crazy as BIG Crazy, just medium. So, Canada has the Super-size version, but is this true? Who was made first?

What comes next in this story bewildered me. Another friend of mine in London, UK (do I know someone from everywhere?) photographed this store in his city, and e-mailed it to me:

What started off as a funny inside joke has spread all over the freakin' world! Now BIG CRAZY isn't so funny anymore, at least, not to these friends. They have their respective Medium and Small Crazies. This also leads me to wonder, I don't have a friend in every country... could there be other crazies? Perhaps an Extra-Large crazy, or a 34 waist - 32 long crazy. Is it limited to clothing sizes? or can it be other things too? High Crazy? Low Crazy? Maximum 60km/h Crazy? East Crazy? There are so many possibilities! If anyone has information on other ___ Crazies, please, please e-mail me about it!

19 August, 2006

Yes, yes.

Yes I did Cullen. I thank you much for adding me to a project like this. My name is Ian Sjöholm, and I live in Visby, Sweden, and it's 5:30 in the morning! My english is badly written, but I think i can make a well addition to my friend Cullen blog. You will listen from me more later. Goodbye.

Another member unto the Breach

Hello my friends. Or, not friends, or whoever.

After advertising my blog on msn, and through my Star Trek RPG, I have accomplished something. A very good friend of mine, from my RPG, Ian, has agreed to join my blog as a co-writer. Hooray for Ian. With new member comes new look, so here it is.(you're moment of Zen?)

So y'all can expect to hear from my Swedish friend Ian. Check out his profile linked off mine under 'Team Members'

Oh, and have you voted for Stephen yet? Ian has. Right Ian?

16 August, 2006

Vote Now!

If there's ever a time to use the phrase 'vote or die', now is the time. If you have any brain power, then go to the following website:


If you haven't seen the Report recently, then you won't know that that is the link to the naming of a new bridge in Hungary, and Stephen deserves his name on it! Just as a warning, the site is in Hungarian, but do not fear, for I am on the job, and I shall help you translate!

Near the top of the page, you will see some hungarian, and two buttons, they will look like this:

For easy translation, listen up! Although 'Szavazok' looks like just one word, it is in fact an idiom. It's like trying to translate 'wanna' or 'brb'. As such, it was hard to translate. After extensive research, I have discovered that 'Szavazok' actually means 'Stephen Colbert kicks ass'. It's usually exclaimed, 'Szavazok!'. After a little more intensive research, I discovered that 'Felvitel' means 'Festival', 'ABC' means 'ABC', and 'Szerint' is a roll of meat eaten for breakfast. Finally, the Hungarian idioms strike again. Separately, 'Megjelenités' means 'Mushrooms', and 'Sorrendje' really means 'Sore end'. Together, they actually mean 'Surrender, Meningitis!'. Handifully put into one image, the translation is as follows:

Of course, Sausage ABC's is the logical choice, as nobody wants a Sausagefest, eh Wayne? Moving on.

Selecting "Sausage ABC's" will put the candidates in alphabetical order. After that, just scroll down to 'Stephen Colbert', select the bullet beside his name, scroll down to the bottom and push 'Elküild', and your vote will be cast. Vote as many times as you can. Find as many computers and vote. Go to the library, internet cafés, anything that will let you vote more! We're at 45029 and climbing! Only about 1 600 000 more votes to go! Let's do this! C'mon!

Thank you, and goodnight.

(Update 11:53 AM, 16/08/2006):

Holy crap! Overnight, in less than 10 hours, Stephen's votes have gone from the previously posted number, 45 029, to a staggering 438 049! From when I posted this initially, 12.17 people have voted for him per second! Shows how much power I have. Either that or the fact that he said it on his show... one of the two. But still, we need your votes! Vote now! Currently, we're in twelfth place! The link is in this post and my links section. Go now! Ironically, the leader went up about 400 000 votes as well, so we're still 1 600 000 votes away!