Llama's Notes

23 August, 2006

So much crazy!

First off, I'd like to say thank you to our readers, such an excellent job we've done voting for Stephen! Just after watching the Report, I know that he is now - in the polls - at over 17 000 000 votes! Holy crap! That dwarfs(gnomes?) the former leader by 15 000 000 votes! Good job everyone!

Now, as many of you know, I annually attend Musicfest as a volunteer. As fewer of you may know, there is also a store in Richmond BC that I encountered called 'Big Crazy', pictured below. It is, essentially, a chinese supermarket. My brother and I would go in there, point and laugh at the mis-translated engilsh. There were things like Wild Acid Jube-Jubes, and Chicken-Taste Noodles. It brought such hilarity, that it spread through Musicfest like wildfire, and has become an ongoing joke since then.



Alone, this store is pretty funny in itself, and I'm looking forward to returning to it this May. But... there's more!

A friend of mine in Indiana, spotted this store in a town, ironically, named Fort Wayne, IN.



Medium crazy?! What the hell? I thought that this Crazy phenomenon was indigenous to Richmond, but no! Apparently America has one too, but just Medium, not as Crazy as BIG Crazy, just medium. So, Canada has the Super-size version, but is this true? Who was made first?

What comes next in this story bewildered me. Another friend of mine in London, UK (do I know someone from everywhere?) photographed this store in his city, and e-mailed it to me:



What started off as a funny inside joke has spread all over the freakin' world! Now BIG CRAZY isn't so funny anymore, at least, not to these friends. They have their respective Medium and Small Crazies. This also leads me to wonder, I don't have a friend in every country... could there be other crazies? Perhaps an Extra-Large crazy, or a 34 waist - 32 long crazy. Is it limited to clothing sizes? or can it be other things too? High Crazy? Low Crazy? Maximum 60km/h Crazy? East Crazy? There are so many possibilities! If anyone has information on other ___ Crazies, please, please e-mail me about it!

19 August, 2006

Yes, yes.

Yes I did Cullen. I thank you much for adding me to a project like this. My name is Ian Sjöholm, and I live in Visby, Sweden, and it's 5:30 in the morning! My english is badly written, but I think i can make a well addition to my friend Cullen blog. You will listen from me more later. Goodbye.

Another member unto the Breach

Hello my friends. Or, not friends, or whoever.

After advertising my blog on msn, and through my Star Trek RPG, I have accomplished something. A very good friend of mine, from my RPG, Ian, has agreed to join my blog as a co-writer. Hooray for Ian. With new member comes new look, so here it is.(you're moment of Zen?)

So y'all can expect to hear from my Swedish friend Ian. Check out his profile linked off mine under 'Team Members'

Oh, and have you voted for Stephen yet? Ian has. Right Ian?

16 August, 2006

Vote Now!

If there's ever a time to use the phrase 'vote or die', now is the time. If you have any brain power, then go to the following website:

http://m0hid.gov.hu/vote

If you haven't seen the Report recently, then you won't know that that is the link to the naming of a new bridge in Hungary, and Stephen deserves his name on it! Just as a warning, the site is in Hungarian, but do not fear, for I am on the job, and I shall help you translate!

Near the top of the page, you will see some hungarian, and two buttons, they will look like this:


For easy translation, listen up! Although 'Szavazok' looks like just one word, it is in fact an idiom. It's like trying to translate 'wanna' or 'brb'. As such, it was hard to translate. After extensive research, I have discovered that 'Szavazok' actually means 'Stephen Colbert kicks ass'. It's usually exclaimed, 'Szavazok!'. After a little more intensive research, I discovered that 'Felvitel' means 'Festival', 'ABC' means 'ABC', and 'Szerint' is a roll of meat eaten for breakfast. Finally, the Hungarian idioms strike again. Separately, 'Megjelenités' means 'Mushrooms', and 'Sorrendje' really means 'Sore end'. Together, they actually mean 'Surrender, Meningitis!'. Handifully put into one image, the translation is as follows:


Of course, Sausage ABC's is the logical choice, as nobody wants a Sausagefest, eh Wayne? Moving on.

Selecting "Sausage ABC's" will put the candidates in alphabetical order. After that, just scroll down to 'Stephen Colbert', select the bullet beside his name, scroll down to the bottom and push 'Elküild', and your vote will be cast. Vote as many times as you can. Find as many computers and vote. Go to the library, internet cafés, anything that will let you vote more! We're at 45029 and climbing! Only about 1 600 000 more votes to go! Let's do this! C'mon!

Thank you, and goodnight.

(Update 11:53 AM, 16/08/2006):

Holy crap! Overnight, in less than 10 hours, Stephen's votes have gone from the previously posted number, 45 029, to a staggering 438 049! From when I posted this initially, 12.17 people have voted for him per second! Shows how much power I have. Either that or the fact that he said it on his show... one of the two. But still, we need your votes! Vote now! Currently, we're in twelfth place! The link is in this post and my links section. Go now! Ironically, the leader went up about 400 000 votes as well, so we're still 1 600 000 votes away!

08 August, 2006

Truthiness Comes to Georgetown

GLORIOUS DAY!

I never receive messages by snail-mail, or regular post. Never. Today, on the other hand, I did. Who was it from, we'll find out. But first a recap of the past few weeks.

Monday June 19th - Wayne, the supreme Emperor, posts this
, a segment on Stephen Colbert's dreamsicle speech. Clyde is very interested in this 'Colbert' guy. Now it begins.

Tuesday June 20th - I, Clyde, decide, after viewing previously mentioned clip, to watch said 'Colbert Report', and enjoy it very much.

Wednesday June 20th to Sunday July 16th - Time passes.

Monday July 17th - Stephen Colbert announces on his show that if you send him $20, he 'will not' send you a Colbert Report t-shirt.

Tuesday July 18th - I send Stephen Colbert $25(5 for shipping), and a letter expressing my adoration of him and his show, in a very heterosexual fashion.

Friday July 21st - I tell Wayne about my cash-sending, and Wayne thinks I'm crazy as Dustin Hoffman skateboarding backwards down a black-hole made of tuna fish.

Thursday July 27th - I tell the Almighty about my cash-sending, and he thinks I'm smart as any movie producer rejecting Julia Roberts as any part of the cast.

Friday July 28th to Monday August 7th - More time passes. Time is actually an illusion. So are people. The universe is actually unpopulated, as the average population is 0. There is an infinite amount of planets in the universe, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to exist in. But, we know that not all of them are populated. But, any number divided by infinity is as close to zero as zero is, so the average population of a planet can said to be 0, and any people you meet are just figments of a deranged imagination. Thank you Douglas Adams.

Today - It started off as a semi-uneventful day. I woke up, went to work. Whilst at work, I killed a few customers, pondered the meaning of life, the universe and everything, had a discussion with my boss about her future topless-hairdresser shop, and returned home. As I strolled into my headquarters, I was alerted by my secretary that I had received a message. I believe the exact phrase was "You've got mail." I thanked her and sat down at my desk, and looked upon a beautiful sight.
This is what I saw. As I recovered from the shock of receiving a letter from Stephen Colbert himself, I pondered what the best thing was before sliced bread. With shaking hands, I picked up my McArthur Confederacy letter-opener. Ever so carefully, I gently ripped open this sacred envelope, revealing the contents. A letter, and 25 american dollars - different than the bills I sent him. As my butler caught the drool dripping down my face, I slowly opened the holy letter that was in my hands. This is what I saw.

STEPHEN COLBERT SENT ME MAIL! Who else do you know who can say that? Happy day for the McArthur Confederacy. Both the letter and the envelope are currently framed and hung on my personal wall of honour.


Here's to you Stephen!

03 August, 2006

V?

Virtually vexing virile virgins voraciously vetoes vegetation. Vince Vaughn vacates vestibular vestibules and vouches very venally. Vuck! I can't think of anymore 'V' words.

So I've heard, V is for Vendetta, or so the movie V for Vendetta says. Well, that's not good enough for me. Don't get me wrong, V for Vendetta was an excellent movie, but I disagree simply with the title. Why? Because. It is a blatant rip from our big blue friend, Cookie Monster. He has always said, and I agree, that "'C' is for Cookie, and that's good enough for me." Observe:



Know what also starts with C? Clyde. Now, if I was Cookie Monster, I would sue the producers for this disregard of his own copyrighted material. Or, I'd demand a movie exactly like V for Vendetta, and produce it myself. Oh Cookie monster, its seems that you're already two steps ahead of me...



So. V for Vendetta is a superb movie, so instead of a truthful comparison, I give you this:

Here's to you cookie monster!